This Is Not Serious
by AlexFromSteam
Summary: This isn't a serious fanfic. This is something I wrote for my friends on Steam, and inside joke of sorts. You are not obligated to read it. If you want to read any of my serious fics, ask me for my Ao3 :)


Eddy certainly was surprised when he got a letter back from MANN Co. stating that he got the job. He was sure that what won The Administrator over was his list of racing and baseball awards and titles. When it came to writting an actual formal application, his knowledge was sorta lacking.

A large charter bus came to his apartment to pick him up and take him to the base. His things were packed in suitcases, such as his clothes, bat, and a photo of his dear Ma. Climbing aboard the bus he found a few other people, which the bus driver told him were mostly staff workers and secretaries. Eddy took a seat in the middle of the vehicle, and pulled out a sports magazine to read. However he found that only his eyes were reading the words, and not his mind. He was too busy listening to the other people on the bus chatter. The talked about their new positions, and how this was going to be a good season for BLU.

"I didn't catch your name?" A voice said.

Eddy looked up. The man in front of him was looking over the back of his seat at him.

"You don't have a name tag yet huh? Well I'm guessing from your baseball bat that your our new scout, yeh?" He said. Eddy glanced at the man's own name tag., which read Ghost O. B.

"Ye..yeh, I'm the new scout." Eddy stuttered as the man pulled out a blank name tag and pen.

"Name?" He asked.

"Eddy, well, I guess Eddy S." He said. The man wrote it down and handed him the tag, which Eddy slapped onto his shirt. "So, you're Ghost then?"

"Yeah, I'm Ghost O. Battle. I'm the BLU sniper actually, don't wanna make a fuss about it though, these guys know I can be a show off. Seems like you don't neither." Ghost said.

"Well, I don't know these people. I'm just gonna' keep quite until we get to the base, then I'll chat it up with the rest of the team." Eddy laughed.  
The bus rolled down the road for a while, until it got to some "off the main road" dirt roads. Eddy was sweating, as the bus' AC was poor, and the desert they were driving through was taking it's toll. A little more time passed, and finally they pulled up into the front of the BLU base. They unloaded from the bus. "Stick with me, Ed, I'll introduce you to everyone." Ghost said.

* * *

Eddy walked inside the base with Ghost. The AC hit him like a brick wall, and comfort and relief washed over him.

"Ghost, you got the fresh meat!?" Someone yelled out. "Yeh, it's our new 'scoot'". Someone else said. "Mmmmfff" A muffled voice said.

Ghost cleared his throat. "Guys, this is Eddy, our new scout." "Hellos" and "welcomes" were said from the team in a cluster.  
"So introduce yourselves." Ghost asked.

The first person to stand was an average looking man. His helmet and jacket symbol gave away his position as the team's soldier. "Omega." He said. Eddy greeted him.

The next to stand was a man, who quickly stammered "I'm Ryuko the team's medic" then sat back down.  
The team's masked pyro said something unknown. "That's Dada, he doesn't talk much." Ghost said. _(get it, because he doesn't have a mic?)_  
The only woman of the team stood and introduced herself. "I'm Mara, the team's heavy." She said.

The remaining men greeted Eddy, however one was missing. The team's spy. "So, you guys have a spy?" Eddy asked.

"He's around here somewhere." Omega said, getting up and staring to wander off, as the rest of the team were. "We're gonna get to work, gonna beat those REDs a ton this season!" Ryuko called out while running down the hallway.

"Come on." Ghost said to Eddy. "We'll go find the spy, so you can meet."

* * *

Ghost knocked on the spy's door. "Bet he didn't know we just got here." He said to Eddy. Footsteps sounded, and then the door opened.  
"Sanity, our new scout is here." Ghost said.

"Oh, I didn't realize! My mistake." The spy said. He stepped out of his room and held out his open hand. "I'm Sanity, and you must be...Eddy." He said, reading Eddy's name tag. Eddy shook his hand. It was warm. Sanity smelled of firewood, and Eddy could only see a little bit of his face behind his balaclava.

"Nice to...meet you." Eddy said, a little lost for words. Something about Sanity was getting to him.

"I'm excited to see your moves out on the battlefield, Eddy. It will certainly be fun working with you." Sanity said. "Before our first battle later this week, we should get to know each other though." Those words, for some reason, made Eddy's hair stand. As Sanity walked away, Eddy couldn't help but watch him go.

The next day started out like any other. Everyone was up and in the kitchen by ten, everyone but Sanity.  
The team sat at a large round table and ate breakfast while chatting. Ryuko was going on about the most recent anime he had been watching, while Mara half listened with a salty expression on her face.

"Ghost, maybe you should go get Sanity up, he always gets pissed when he misses breakfast" Omega spoke up.

"Well then he shouldn't sleep in so late, huh." Ghost replied with a laugh. Ghost was about to say something else when he stopped himself, setting his fork down.

"Eddy, would you go get Sanity's ass up?" Ghost asked.

Eddy about choked on his food. "M-me?" He stuttered. The idea of going into the spy's room, while he was sleeping nonetheless, racked him with anxiety.

"Yeah, why not." Ghost said. "Ya know where his room is."

Eddy didn't say anything. He then stood up, and nodded with an "Ok" and started to make his way to Sanity's room.  
Eddy walked down the quiet hallway, unsure of how to wake Sanity up when he got to him. He finally got to his bedroom door. _"Maybe I should just knock really loud_ _and leave."_ He thought to himself. He couldn't bring himself to do it though, he was to eager, he wanted to see the spy.

So slowly, Eddy cracked the door open, and peeked inside. The room was dark, and he couldn't see much of anything. He could make out the outline of Sanity lying on his bed. He could see Sanity's chest rising up and lowering with every breath. A bead of sweat rolled down Eddy's face. This seemed so personal, like he shouldn't be there.

Eddy made his way into the room. For some reason, he closed the door behind him. He tip-toed over to Sanity's bed, and stood right above him. He stared at his maskless face, and his soft, dark hair. He gave him a small shake.

"S-Sanity." He whispered. "Breakfast is a-almost over, y-ya need to get...up" Eddy was unsure of why his nerves were so tense. His heart pounded as he looked at the spy's sleeping face.

Suddenly, Sanity's eyes shot open. His arm shot out, and his open palm landed on Eddy's chest. "Oh, the...scout...Eddy. You startled me." Sanity said.

Eddy swallowed. "Eh, the team sent me in here...to...to wake you up." He said.

Sanity sat up halfway, and thew the blanket off of himself. Eddy stepped back, almost gasping. Sanity was in nothing but his boxers. Eddy stared at his figure. His chest was sculpted, with hard, defined abs. Eddy's eyes followed his small trail of hair that led down from his bellybutton. His arms and legs were toned, and overall his body, save for his usually covered face, was tan.

"Do you like what you see?" Sanity whispered.

Eddy was shocked by those words. "What did you say?" He stammered.

"Don't lie to me, little scout. I knew you craved me from the time we met only yesterday. I'm good at reading those things. Tell me, have you ever...known...someone before?" Sanity asked.

Eddy panted. "N-no." Was all he could say.

"Hmm, then lets start out slow." Sanity replied. He then patted the bed beside him, and moved over to the side. "Go on, climb in."

"I...no, I can't!" Eddy protested. "This is...this is wrong!"

"No Eddy. Just come." Sanity purred.

Eddy couldn't help but obey. He climbed into the bed besides Sanity. Sanity pulled the blanket over them both, and put his arms around Eddy, who was shaking. "It's alright." Sanity whispered, trailing his fingers through Eddy's hair. Eddy leaned into Sanity's warm body.

"We're...gonna miss breakfast." Eddy said.

"Screw breakfast." Sanity replied.  
They then both fell asleep, holding each other.

* * *

The End  
I'm not writing anymore  
I hate you guys


End file.
